June 10, 2013

My Weekly Goals {June 10th}


You can read more about why I am sharing my weekly goals on my first weekly goals post here.

Well, this past week held no success for my goals. However, today I am trying to "official" start summer break and get into our routines. The day has held much success and productivity for me! Therefore, I am hopeful that this week will get my goals back on track too!

Here are my goals for this week:
1. Write a post about how I am getting out of my funk.
2. Find my iron. It's got to be somewhere at this new house. Right?
3. Go through all the junk that has found itself on our school table.
4. Make a summer bucket list.
5. Complete and turn in all of May's foster parenting paperwork.

June 5, 2013

June 5th {status update}


I'm currently:

reading...The Worn Out Woman. I am trying to thrive more, instead of live in a constant state of worn out. I'm hoping this book will help guide me in the process. p.s. I am podcasting through the book with my sister. 

listening to...All Sons & Daughters...still. I know! I'm obsessed. A new song I am obsessed with is from their LIVE album and called Your Glory/Nothing But the Blood. "My life is Yours, and my hope is in You only, and my heart You hold, 'cause You made this sinner holy."

enjoying...the opportunity to sleep in more. For several months Little Man was waking up between 5:45 and 6:30. That is just too early for me. Lately he has been waking up between 7:00 and 7:30. It is pure bliss. I may even start to wake up earlier to get a head start on the day. I did this last summer, but then life got crazy, kids slept less, and I lost the habit. It may be time to bring it back! 

watching...MasterChef with the hubby. We are watching Season 3 on HuluPlus, streaming through our Roku (p.s. best thing ever!). We don't have cable and we rarely watch local television as well, so we watch when we want to watch, and what we want to watch. Anyway...there is a blind contestant, Christine. I am in love. She is awesome! It blows my mind how she is competing with the best of them in spite of her visual impairment. I hope she goes far in the show! I think she is very skilled and her story is so inspiring! I also like the single mom, Monti. What can I say? I am a sucker for a good story! I think I cried like 20 times in the auditions.

cooking...crock pot ham and potatoes from eMeals (affiliate). Love the simplicity of this program!!!

planning...on moving some posts from my former blog onto this blog hoping to simplify things and cut down on management effort on my part. Be prepared...I'm not sure if this will make things a little wonky for subscribers. I will be working on this throughout the month of June.

working on...summer routines and anchors. Today is the last day of school! I like to plan something for everyday in the morning, like Mondays are library days, Tuesdays are water days (either in the backyard or spray ground or seminary pool), etc...then we have lunch, rest time (and school time for big kids), and then spend the rest of the day at home, riding bikes or just hanging out in the back yard. I also want to put together a summer bucket list to do on Saturdays, which are our family days.

excited for...celebrating my 8th wedding anniversary yesterday. 8 years. Unbelievable! Time has gone by so quickly. Especially our time in Louisville, 3 years now. Although it seems like we've been here forever, probably just because it feels like home. It is home now. I am so blessed by my husband and his servant leadership over our family. I truly am in awe of this life we live together.

feeling...better than I have in a while. I'm happy to finally be feeling better and getting out of my funk. I am tired of how life has been lately and I know a lot of it has to do with my attitude and my expectations.

remembering...to cherish the summer. Last summer we were without a vehicle for over 2 months. We were house bound throughout most of the summer months. It was our first summer with the kids and I could tell they were disappointed. We had a bucket list and were in the middle of a local "Where's Waldo" contest. We didn't get to finish either of them. I must remember we only get a specific amount of summers with our kids. I want to cherish and treasure them.

Note: This post was inspired by Hayley at The Tiny Twig. I love her i'm currently posts. I took a few of her prompts and added some that I wanted to share too! 

June 3, 2013

My Weekly Goals {June 3rd}


You can read more about why I am sharing my weekly goals on my first weekly goals post here.

Where did April and May go? I know...I am trying to give myself grace. Life got crazy. But, summer officially starts at my house this week and I have got to get my act together. I've got to pull myself out of this funk and get back to real life!

Are you with me?!?

Here are my goals for this week:
1. Write a post about how I am getting out of my funk.
2. Find my iron. It's got to be somewhere at this new house. Right?
3. Go through all the junk that has found itself on our school table.
4. Make a summer bucket list.
5. Complete and turn in all of May's foster parenting paperwork.

YOUR TURN: Has spring been hard for you? How are you shaking it off and moving forward?

May 31, 2013

Snapshots of Life {may}

I got a new camera earlier this year and I am trying to do better about documenting our life through photos. Each month I share pictures of our life, every day, unedited, mess included!














May 28, 2013

A Dream Like No Other

This year, Tuesdays were supposed to be all about dreams. My dreams. My God-sized dreams. Specifically, my dream was to write a book proposal about our journey to parenthood through foster care. Blessed Chaos.

A few months ago I realized how unrealistic this dream is in my current state of life. I haven't joined a Tuesday link up since the middle of March. Life has been crazy hard like that.

Very recently I've been reflecting on my current state of life and I've pieced a few thoughts together that have encouraged me greatly.

I worried from the beginning about how I would fit all this dreaming into my life when I have been so busy with the every day living of my life. It's been so hard. Yet, I know now that I need to embrace this season and search out joy.

Here is a new reality.

I am already living a God-sized dream. 

A different dream, yet a dream a none the less.

This life I live is a dream. 

I am a mother. 

I have four children.

The days are busy but they are filled with such blessings, even when the days are hard-to-imagine difficult.

I cannot lose sight of the dream I am living. 

This is a dream like no other.

It's a dream that I hope to live the rest of my life.

It will affect my every day for as long as I live.

God is so good.

He has blessed me with these children.

Today, with them, it is a dream.

I am living a dream.

Even in the messy.

Even when it's harder than I ever imagined.

I know this is exactly where God wants me.

I am doing exactly what He has called me to do.

I cannot keep looking ahead to what might be a God-sized dream, sharing our story.

I need to live today, I need to live our story, I need to embrace our story, I need to remember always how blessed we are to have a part in this story today with these children.

I am indeed living my dream already. 

Read more God-sized Dream updates from other dreamers here.

May 23, 2013

Waiting for the Dawn {living in the darkness}


I've heard the saying, "It's always darkest before the dawn." Literally speaking, I'm not certain if the saying is true, if it is indeed darkest right before the sun rises. However, metaphorically, I feel confident in the reality of this saying.

Michael and I have said many times to each other that in foster placements it gets really, really hard right before you have a breakthrough. The awful truth of this is that very often people don't last through the darkness.

On really hard days, we remind ourselves of our commitment to these children. Before we got a placement we agreed and committed to each other and God that we were going to do everything we could to view the children that were placed with us as if they were our children already, no matter what. You don't just send your child back to the hospital when they start acting out in school, or screaming at you regularly.

No matter the difficulties, no matter the trials, no matter the behavior, we are committed to each other and to these children. 

This is a choice we make every day.

That doesn't mean it is always easy. Because honestly, nothing in our life lately has been easy.

I aim to keep this blog encouraging, yet I also feel very compelled to share honestly sometimes when we are struggling, when family life is more than a little difficult. Why do I feel compelled to share? Just as infertility was something I experienced and felt so alone in, I want to share this part of our story in fostering so that people know that they are not alone.

What God has called Michael and I to do is no easy task. It has been far more difficult than I ever imagined. Yet, God is good. I know that this is all His plan and that He will provide for us. I know this to be true because He is faithful and He has never left us leading up to this point.

The deep darkness that sometimes creeps into our home and family devastates me at times. Our kid's lives up to this point have been nothing close to pleasant, joyful, or fun. They have experienced more trauma in their short lives than I have in all of mine. The years that were taken from their childhood because of neglect and abuse are many. The pain they feel is real and creeping around every corner.

Even after a year in our home, their past affects them most days, especially our big kids. They struggle to trust. They struggle to feel safe and stable. Their struggles are expressed through their behaviors.

Recently we have been having many difficult days. Last week was one of the most difficult weeks, if not the most difficult week, of my entire life. I questioned everything. I wondered, "Where is God in all of this? How is this part of God's plan? Why is this so hard? How are we going to get through this?"

This deep darkness was gradual. The past few months have been difficult and it was adding up and adding up and overflowing. I had felt like I was "in a funk" for the past few weeks, struggling with feelings of depression and lacking motivation to do much of what is required of me daily. 

Saturday was the darkest of last week, quite possibly the darkest day of my life, and then on Sunday, light came up through the darkness. It truly was darkest right before the dawn.

We had a breakthrough. Michael and I got on the same page again. We had both been feeling overwhelmed and hadn't really talked about it much because the crazy days were abundant and our time was usually spoken for. However, after a long talk we saw progress in our own lives, in our own hearts.

It didn't mean that the behavior or situation changed. It just meant that our perspective and attitude changed. That difference alone changed the whole situation.

Then on Monday, we had a meeting about the kid's future, nothing official, yet a small step forward. It was one of the most encouraging meetings we have ever had. It really confirmed that God was still with us, even in the darkness, He was there. His timing is always perfect...oh how we are still learning to trust.

Looking forward, I'm hoping that we don't go through the deep darkness again. Yet, I am not confident that the rest of our journey will be easy. I'm okay with it, though.

I am trying to be proactive. I am trying to not allow my own heart to reach the depth of darkness it has seen lately. I am intentionally trying to stay on top of all the chaos and overwhelming feelings.

I know that this road we have chosen, or more appropriately that the Lord has chosen for us, is not an easy road to travel on. Yet I am ever more confident that the Lord is leading us and walking alongside of us, through our darkest days and giving us glimpses of the dawn. We do not do this in our own strength, but it is only by the strength of our Lord Jesus Christ that we continue to get through.

May 16, 2013

Dear Weary Mom,


Dear Weary Mom,

I know you are weary. Tired. Overwhelmed. Burnt Out.

I know, because I am you. I am a weary mom too.

Most days I feel like I have reached my limit. I cannot do anything else. I cannot continue.

Yet, I do. I get through. Praise the Lord!

This calling that we have, mothering, is a difficult task. It is the hardest job I've ever had. Training these little children. Teaching them what is right. Giving them almost all I have to give each day.

These days...they are long. They drag on. My energy fades quickly as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning.

It is tempting to think that we are alone in these struggles. That we are the only mom weary to the bone and running on empty.

Here is the truth, though. The beautiful truth.


You are not alone.

You are stronger than you think you are.

You will get through.

What you do it amazing.

You matter.

What we do every day, in the midst of our exhaustion, is spectacular. God sees us.

He sees us when we are wiping running noses. He sees us when we serve lunch and clean the table. He sees us as we are on the floor, reading books, playing dolls, building towers. He sees all we do, even when we think no one else does.

Not only does God see us. He gives us strength to continue. Our strength may be ever fading, but He, through His grace and power, gives us more strength to continue on, He gives us physical help (at times) to ease our burden, He gives us rest to keep going tomorrow.

We need to stop pretending that we've got it all together. No one has it all together. The beauty is we don't have to have it all together, because Jesus holds us together. 



Today I am adding this letter to the first Dear Weary Mom link-up over at the Hope for the Weary Mom blog! Find more letters here.